No Full House for me!

For almost a month now I've been living alone. All by myself. Allll alone. Completely alone.

But really, it's not so bad. It's a little bit of an adjustment. I think one of the key ingredients to living alone successfully is to keep yourself busy. As long as your mind is occupied enough to stay out of the silence of the abyss, you shouldn't have to worry about going crazy, and your living situation will start to feel less and less like solitary confinement. My schedule has been pretty relaxed this month, and one day, as a result, I found myself actually willing to watch daytime TV (Full House reruns, anyone?). That was the last straw. That's when I knew: I needed to get out of the apartment.

But besides the occasional numbing silence, there are some benefits to living alone. You can eat whatever you want, you can watch whatever you want, you can make as much or as little noise as you want, etc. Basically the sky is the limit. Yesterday I read an article in Marie Claire about this very topic, narrated by the wonderful Mindy Kaling, who you may know as Kelly from The Office (the water bottle incident had me laughing for a good 10 minutes).

Interesting side note about my family of 4: every single one of us is living alone (although my situation is just temporary). And now my Grandma lives alone, too. We're just that cool. I think everyone should live alone at some point. It's a good experience and a great time to get to know your favorite person of all--yourself!

So, to sum up: living alone is both fun and not fun. But so is any other living arrangement. You should try it!

All that aside, I miss you Nicole! :)

Why do I insist on watching trashy reality TV?

It's true. I have a problem.

The Bachelor/Bachelorette is easily the worst show on television. Sappy and salacious. Entirely unrealistic. Be that as it may, I find myself inexplicably sucked in whenever I watch it. Why must this be? What powers does this show hold over me? Why do I really care to watch these poor people make fools of themselves?

I have no clue. Oh well. This week's episode was particularly eventful...and tearful. Last week, someone let it slip to Jillian that there were some guys who are there for the "wrong reasons." He even mentioned that some people have girlfriends back home. Although he couldn't produce any names. So, Jillian addressed the men before the rose ceremony and asked that if anyone had a girlfriend or was here for the "wrong reasons" (I cannot emphasize enough how annoying that phrase has now become...) then they should speak up. In front of 10 other guys. Who would all kick their ass. On national television. What a shocker, then, that nobody spoke up.

This week, Jillian decided to take a more individual approach, and ask the boys about their "reasons" while on the one-on-one/group dates. Well, what a surprise, everyone insisted that they were there for the "right reasons." Can't say Jillian's method of interrogation was all that effective. The real letdown of the episode was when big-bulky-hunky-Ed decided that he had to leave the show. He got a call from his boss who gave him an ultimatum, and Ed decided his career couldn't be jeopardized. Jillian was upset. More upset than she thought she would be. More tears. More second-guessing herself.

I have to say, Ed made the right choice. His decision was mature and responsible, truly characteristic of an adult...which is something you don't expect to see on this show. His leaving only bumps him up higher on my bachelor-ranking.

This season so far we've had a possible gay guy, a scary rageaholic, a kid with a slightly alarming foot fetish, and a musician with a CD coming out that, allegedly, is NOT on the show for publicity...

If that's not drama, I don't know what is.

Maybe the thing that draws me into this awful excuse for a television show is the hope that one of these pathetic couples will actually make it. You know, like Trista and Ryan--pioneers of the idea of a lasting relationship engendered from this franchise. I watched Trista and Ryan from the beginning: I saw them fall in love, I watched their wedding mini-series...and now they are the parents of two children, 6 years later! I feel proud of them. And now I hope someone else will be so lucky...although now that Ed is gone, the prognosis for this season does not look good. The remaining group of guys is rife with weirdos. I hope Jillian pulls a Jen Schefft and rejects both of the final two men.


P.S. Did I really just blog about The Bachelorette? So sad...

I'd like to thank the Academy...

A week ago today I got something in the mail that really made my day. More than my day, actually. It made my month, or maybe even my year.

I'm probably placing too much importance on it because I know it means less than I think it does, but nevertheless, however insignificant it may be, I'm really touched by it.

What am I talking about? Okay, here it is. I received a letter from the honors office here at Texas A&M saying that I was awarded a scholarship for the 09-10 school year. While that was certainly good news, I honestly didn't really care. I called my mom anyway just to let her know (she cares about that stuff way more than I do), and started reading the letter to her. Blah, blah. Then I screamed.

I hadn't read the entire letter, silly me. I only read the first paragraph where it said what I'd been awarded and why. Then, later on in the letter, they went on to say that "given your achievements thus far, we believe that you have the potential to become a candidate for prestigious national scholarships such as the British-Marshall, Gates-Cambridge, Truman, Churchill, and Rhodes Scholarships." They told me to visit the honors office early in the fall semester to talk about being selected as an institutional nominee. Okay, now I was pretty excited. I knew that was a very high compliment they just paid me--much higher than I deserved.

Let me just say right now, for the record, I have no desire of winning any of those scholarships. I don't even care if I never make it past the first round. Really. Just knowing that they see me as a potential candidate is plenty. I respect the honors office and I know they are not the type to waste time and falsely inflate hopes, so I am honored by their opinion. (As a matter of reference, I'm pretty sure 75% of the recipients of the Rhodes scholarship in the past year were from either Yale, Harvard, or Stanford).

So, I can now honestly say I know what actors/actresses mean when they say on the red carpet of the Oscars, "It's an honor just to be nominated!" Although, technically, I'm not even nominated for any of these scholarships yet. I probably won't even get that far. It's more like I'm nominated to be nominated which, again, is an honor in itself.

I don't know how many other people at A&M received letters like mine. Probably a lot. But that doesn't matter to me. It's not about winning or beating other people. To me it's just about somebody out there recognizing my hard work and tipping their hat.

Of course, I will go and talk to them and, depending on how lengthy the application process is, I may decide to go ahead and give it a shot (even though it seems like a waste of time). But regardless of what happens, I'm keeping that letter. Right now it is sitting on my dresser right next to my program from my grandpa's funeral, which lies face down so that the obituary and his picture can be seen. Now, whenever I pass by my dresser on my the way out, I see my grandpa's face and that letter. Two small tokens that, while trivial to others, remind me of who I am every day. Behind my grandpa's eyes and beneath the honors office's praise lie the support and encouragement I need for the day. The 08-09 school year challenged me in many ways, mentally and emotionally, and I feel like this letter somehow helped to make it all worth it. Cliche and shallow, I know, but hey, you have to make the little things in life count!

P.S. Now I no longer harbor ill-feelings toward my postwoman.